October 25, 2009

Is this actually a movie? #7

Here we have Valentine's Day, a romcom from Garry Marshall (director of Pretty Woman) that's sort of an L.A.-based Love Actually. There's really nothing inherently ridiculous about that. But here's what's ridiculous: this looks to be a movie where a selection of Hollywood's most attractive people complain about how they can't get a date. There's suspension of disbelief, and then there's this. I can much sooner buy an invasion of Earth by alien versions of the reincarnated Abraham Lincoln than the fact that Jessica Biel cannot find someone to have sex with on Valentine's Day. It's one thing to have a movie where one attractive star complains about being lonely, but a dozen? Unbearable. This is when, in my opinion, a movie crosses over from "glamour and fantasy to aspire to and/or escapism" to "alienating to everyone who doesn't look like Jessica Alba." Also, there's a rumor floating around in the YouTube comments that someone is the "voice of the dog." Those four words have never bode well for a non-animated movie.

And yet, this movie will still make a bajillion dollars. Check out the trailer and its many cringeworthy moments below.

3 comments:

Ben said...

man, this makes Couples Retreat look like a work of integrity

Jordan Troublefield said...

I know what you mean about the unbelievability thing. Not that 'The Holiday' likely would've been any better but, as I could get behind and forget to roll my eyes at the Jack Black/Kate Winslet side of the story, I absolutely refused to sympathize with Jude Law and Cameron Diaz' separate love woes. Come on! You're the hottest people on the planet!

rtm said...

Hi there, I found your blog through your Cinematical comment, and I'm glad I did. I originally put this on my top ten anticipated 2010 movies list (http://wp.me/pxXPC-o8), what was I thinking? I removed it as soon as I saw the trailer, ugh! I agree with you, suspension of disbelief can only go so far, the whole thing just defies logic... and it's got banal, vapid [insert similar adjective here] written all over it. My money is on The Wolfman come V-day.