December 30, 2007

Honoring the year's funniest in film

Everyone knows that the Oscars have always been a terribly serious affair. The last real comedy that won Best Picture was Annie Hall in 1977, and before that there were only a handful of others throughout the ceremony's history. (I am not counting Shakespeare in Love, because that's more of a "wave fans and giggle" period comedy, which are never actually funny.) This year was a great one for comedy, boasting everything from the crass chuckles of Knocked Up to the quirkfest that is Juno. Sadly, these comedic achievements will probably go largely unrecognized during awards season, despite often unanimous critical acclaim. Hot Fuzz has the same Rotten Tomatoes rating as Sweeney Todd, The Simpsons Movie has the same rating as There Will Be Blood, and Superbad has a slightly higher rating than Atonement - the latter example in each pairing being the Oscar bait (check out http://www.rottentomatoes.com/ if you want to do your own sleuthing). So, until the Academy wakes up, I will make it my duty to honor the movies and people that brought the funny this year.

BEST FUNNY PERFORMANCE, FEMALE: Ellen Page as Juno MacGuff in Juno
Is there any contest here? It's sad that funny female performances seem so rare (or good female performances period). I can die happy the day a female Superbad comes out, because I know girls who talk and act like that (I'm one of them!). That being said, I'm not trying to downplay Page's excellent work in this film. She's kind of like a typical best friend - but with substantially better one-liners.
RUNNER-UP: Keri Russell as Jenna Hunterson in Waitress
A different kind of funny in a movie you can watch with your mom. Jenna's sweet and Southern, but also spunky enough to refuse her obstetrician's offer for a coffee date with, "I can't have coffee, it's on the bad food list you gave me. What kind of doctor are you?" She also names homemade pies after how much she hates her husband, which is amazing.

FUNNIEST PERFORMANCE, MALE: Jonah Hill in Superbad (and Knocked Up)
Is it fair to include someone with two movies? Maybe not, but the fact remains that Jonah Hill is one funny bastard. His vulgar and profane tirades and comments in Superbad are nothing short of hysterical, and he proved to be a repeat scene stealer in Knocked Up. The best part is, you can tell that he's improvising most of what he says, and that he's just a funny person in real life. (Note to Jonah fans: check out the bonus features on the Knocked Up DVD to see his character complaining about the lack of man-on-man action in Brokeback Mountain.)
RUNNER-UP: John C. Reilly in Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story (and Year of the Dog, briefly)
The funniest thing about Reilly's role in Walk Hard is that he actually plays it completely straight. While the other cast members are clearly just goofing around (see the "Beatles" cameo below), Reilly almost makes you believe that Dewey Cox is real. Having said that, he perfectly embodies a parodied version of several decades in American music, ranging from a mumbly and Dylan-esque Cox to a LSD-fueled Cox who needs indigenous chanting in all his songs. He's also great in Year of the Dog, as Molly Shannon's hunting-obsessed neighbor.

BEST RUNNING JOKE IN A MOVIE: Beard mockery in Knocked Up
Who knew something so simple could produce so many laughs? Ben (Seth Rogen) and his roommates spend the entire film teasing pal Martin (Martin Starr) about his beard, trying to persuade him to shave it so that he will lose a bet. The insults include, but are not limited to "Robin Williams' knuckles," "Martin Scorsese on coke," "Matisyahu" and of course, a vagina. There's even a deleted scene on the DVD where Jonah (Jonah Hill) just torments Martin for a solid three minutes about the beard.
RUNNER-UP: The sink gag in Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story
Remember in Walk the Line, where Johnny Cash (Joaquin Phoenix) tears a sink off a wall out of rage and despair? Well, Dewey Cox does that EVERY time he's upset, culminating in ripping off all the sinks in a public restroom.

BEST MOMENT OF UNINTENTIONAL HILARITY: "Bad" Spider-Man in Spider-Man 3
I remember the uncomfortable wave of laughter that swept across the audience when I saw Spider-Man 3. Peter Parker gets possessed by the evil goo from space, which causes him to do such evil things as get an emo haircut, give suggestive looks to women, and...dance? Was this supposed to be funny? I don't know.
RUNNER-UP: Everything Billy Mitchell says or does in The King of Kong
Billy Mitchell would seem like the world's most poorly written character if he wasn't a real guy. His mannerisms and delusions of grandeur in this ridiculously entertaining documentary make you wonder how people like that exist functionally in this world.

BEST COMEDIC DUO: Michael Cera and Jonah Hill in Superbad
These two are like funnier versions of every adolescent male I know. Just when you thought the funny fat guy and skinny straight man pairing was getting old, Cera and Hill give it a fresh and raunchy spin.
RUNNER-UP: Simon Pegg and Nick Frost in Hot Fuzz
Pegg's overachieving and devoted cop Nicholas Angel and Frost's slacker slob Danny are - hey, it's a fat and skinny guy again!

FUNNIEST CAMEO: Jack Black, Paul Rudd, Jason Schwartzmann and Justin Long as Paul, John, Ringo and George (respectively) in Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story
One of the main reasons I wanted to see this movie in the first place was from the oh-so-brief clip of this Beatles cameo in the trailer, and it was even funnier in context. The four guys all play their own Beatle with a fair degree of accuracy, but at the same time act utterly absurd.
RUNNER-UP: Sacha Baron Cohen as Pirelli in Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
I guess this isn't technically a cameo, since he's billed fifth. But then again, he's in and out of the story pretty quickly. His role would be hilarious even if he didn't open his mouth, because his hair and outfit are sublimely ridiculous. The icing on the cake, however, is his outrageous singing voice and demeanor. Plus, in the back of your head, you're definitely saying, "OMG it's Borat!"

THE WES ANDERSON AWARD: Mike White, for writing and directing Year of the Dog
No offense, Wes, but I think it was all downhill after Rushmore. The person I believe most fit to carry on your legacy at this point is Mike White, creator of Year of the Dog. The film was saturated with your influence - right down to squarely framed shots of random objects - but had actual emotion instead of just hipster music. And doggies!
RUNNER-UP: Jason Reitman for directing Juno
Juno doesn't have a whole lot in common with the typical Anderson output, save one thing: the music. The soundtrack kicks in at unorthodox moments and features a slew of fresh, quirky artists and songs that define the tone of certain scenes.

FUNNIEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR: Superbad
I didn't say best movie, or best-written, or most likely to change your life. I said funniest. Sheer volume of laughter. And that title, my friends, goes to Superbad. Finally, a film that acknowledges how funny teenage boys can naturally be. No stupid subplots, no contrived love stories, no moralizing. Just hilarious, rowdy, clever, and even a little touching comedy. All written by a pair of 14-year-old boys (a young Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg). If that isn't a smack in the face to all other comedies, I don't know what is.
RUNNER-UP: Hot Fuzz
More people need to acknowledge the genius that lies in the triumvirate of Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, and Edgar Wright. Together they do great things, such as the top-notch British cop spoof Hot Fuzz. Their brand of comedy is hard to classify - it's British but accessible, lowbrow but smart, gruesome but funny, honoring but parodying. It's like nothing else. And accents make everything funnier.


I acknowledge that this list is incomplete, because I have not yet seen four films I believe would have a place on here: The Savages, Ratatouille, The Simpsons Movie, and Lars and the Real Girl. What do you think? What are your picks for the funniest of 2007?


December 16, 2007

Shameless self-promotion

Okay, so you guys like movies, right? That is SO convenient, because I just made one! It's a project for class that gave me increasing amounts of gray hair all semester, but I think it turned it pretty darn good. So check it OUT! If that didn't sell ya, this will: it's about Waldo. Yeah, that Waldo.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=4fOHrpWvhrY

Enjoy!

December 14, 2007

Actual ridiculous things customers have said at work

I'm reposting this classic from Facebook, and adding some new stuff.

I work in a video store and customers blurt out all sorts of gems that I just could not keep to myself. Here's all the wacky customer questions, comments, and concerns that I could remember. They are as close to verbatim as possible. Also, all of these people had memberships already and thus had rented before.



Woman: Do you have "Mr. and Mrs. Will Smith"?
Me: Um...I think you mean "Mr. and Mrs. Smith".
Woman: No, I'm positive it was "Mr. and Mrs. Will Smith".

- Do all movies in theaters come to DVD?

- Do you have the movie "Rocky Mountain Horror Show"? (They meant "Rocky Horror Picture Show")

- Woman (holding a 1-day rental): Is there any way you could make this, like, more than a 1-day?
Me: Like what?
Woman: Like...maybe...a five-day rental?

- What does "One Day Only" mean?

- Woman on phone: Do you have "An Inconvenient Truth" for the VCR?
Me: You mean VHS? No. They don't make VHS anymore
Woman on phone: That's capitalism for ya!

- Me: You have some late fees, you returned this four days late.
Response of many people: No I didn't, it's a five day rental, so it's actually a day early.
Me: No, you had it five days and then four days more. Five and four is nine. Nine days.
Many people: Oh. Yeah. I guess so.

- Man: Ugh, I can't find anything I want in here. I've seen all the movies in here.
Me: We have thousands of movies! Seriously?
Man: Yeah, probably like 20 percent of them.

- Man (after being charged a $4 late fee) You know what? This is ridiculous. That's it. I've had it. I'm switching to Netflix. I'm not coming back. Cancel my membership.
Me: We can't cancel memberships, they just expire after a while, and cancelling implies that you're paying for the membership, which you're not.
Man: CANCEL MY MEMBERSHIP!!

- Old Lady: Where would I find "Hustle and Flow"?
Me: Excuse me?
Old Lady: Oh right, I mean "Kung Fu Hustle."

- Man: Do you have "Women and Children?" (He meant Children of Men)

- Man: Do you have "Badass?" (He meant Superbad)

- Some of our frequent porn renters don't even bother going downstairs to look at the titles like everyone else. They just strut up to the counter and go "Show me the latest." One fellow did this and sifted through the pile. He slammed them all down, heaved a sigh, and told my coworker, "You're outta gas, kid."

- Old lady: Do you have that new movie that was well reviewed in the New York Times...what was it...oh yes. Babe!
Me: (I know they meant Babel, but just to fuck with them a little, I said this) Oh! Pig in the city?

- Man: Do you have videos of older women having sex with 13 and 14-year-old boys?
My coworker: (stunned) Um, no. That's illegal.
Man: No, I mean very loving and tastefully done and consensual.
My coworker: Um, no. That's illegal.
Man: Because I know some people, I mean, I know them now, but when they were younger, they were involved in these relationships and it was very loving and beneficial.
My coworker: Um, okay.

-Woman on phone, day before Halloween: (this is the first thing she said, no greeting or anything) The woman in 101 Dalmations. Glenn Close. What's her name?
Me: Uh, Cruella de Vil?
Woman on phone: Yes. Cru...Cruella, am I saying that right?
Me: Yes. Do you want to rent the movie?
Woman on phone: Is she the one with the headpiece?
Me: Well, she did have a big fur hat.
Woman on phone: The headpiece with the asp. [I'm pretty sure that's a kind of snake.]
Me: Huh? No, it was just a big hat.
Woman on phone: Well then, who had the headpiece with the asp?
Me: Um, I dunno, Cleopatra?
Woman on phone: Cuz I'm sitting here with this asp headpiece, so now what do I tell people I am for Halloween?
Me: Um, I dunno, Cleopatra?
Woman on phone: Um...are you sure?
This conversation went on like this for about 8 minutes.

- In general, if a movie title has more than two words, it's gonna get butchered or just shortened to two words. Case in point: ever since I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry came out, I have not heard a single person call it by its full title. They just ask for "Chuck and Larry," so much so that we just keep it under "C." I feel that this information should be made known to studio execs somehow.

-Assorted people, in reference to pornos: This DVD skips. I couldn't watch all of it. (Good god, those things are like 4 hours long! Do you really need all of it?)

- A woman came in complaining that she had rented a DVD that when she tried to play it, only showed a menu of special features. The movie was the documentary What the Bleep Do We Know?. While my coworker tried to figure out the problem, I jokingly said to her, "Since it's a documentary about the nature of existence, maybe it's trying to mess with you." She gave me a stone-cold glare and said, "No it isn't. It has Marlee Matlin in it."

- Tons of people: Would the movie [movie title beginning with "the"] be under T? (Or) Would the movie [movie title beginning with indefinite article "a"] be under A?
- Me: No, because then 90% of the store would be under A or T. (Silently to myself: aren't you familiar with the basic principles of alphabetization?)

- Crazy man in motorized scooter, at the front counter, speaking at an ungodly volume with several people around: DO YOU HAVE SHE-MALE PORN?!

- Porn customers write down the numbers of the videos they want, and often times they make a long list in case some are out. One guy handed me such a list, to which I asked a very simple question: "How many would you like?" It could have been a one-word answer. Instead he replied, "All of them. I've got all day today, all day tomorrow..." EW.

- Guy on phone: I rented Pan's Labyrinth, but the version you gave me is in Spanish!
My coworker: Sir, it's a Spanish movie.

And finally:
- Man (holding a DVD) Is this a DVD?

Movie restaurants quiz

Think you know a lot about movies, tough guy? Then name what movies these fictional restaurants are from - from fast food to fine dining. Scroll down for the answers...NO CHEATSIES. I won't lie to ya...some of these are ridiculously hard. Good luck!

1. Rick's Cafe Americain
2. Jack Rabbit Slim's
3. Pizza Planet
4. Mildred's
5. Chotchkie's
6. Hukilau Cafe
7. The Two Windmills
8. Joe's Pie Diner
9. Sal's Pizzeria
10. Mr. Smiley's
11. The Frosty Palace
12. Mudka's Mud Hut
13. Harryhausen's





































1. Casablanca
2. Pulp Fiction
3. Toy Story
4. Mildred Pierce
5. Office Space
6. 50 First Dates
7. Amelie
8. Waitress
9. Do the Right Thing
10. American Beauty
11. Grease
12. The Emperor's New Groove
13. Monsters Inc.

What Oscar categories really mean

I know it's not Oscar season yet, but those little golden men have been on my mind lately. If you think about it, a lot of Oscar categories mean things more specific than just best such-and-such. Here's my handy guide to decoding what some of those tricky buggers mean. (And please, don't compile a nerdy and meticulous list of exceptions and send them to me. This is meant, on some level, to be humorous).

-Best Picture
Actually means: best drop-dead serious drama preferably about war or other actual events

-Best Actress
Actually means: whoever got fattest or ugliest

-Best Actor
Actually means: whoever most effectively portrayed a real person

-Best Supporting Actor/Actress
Actually means: best spunky sidekick with awesome one-liners that, if they were the main character, would not have won an Oscar. Comes with high risk of never winning an Oscar again.

-Best Costume Design
Actually means: best costume design for a period piece

-Best Documentary Short Subject/Feature
- Actually means: most depressing documentary, preferably about AIDS, the Holocaust, or genocide. I remember watching the awards last year and telling my friend how pissed the directors of some of the documentary short subjects must be, because they were up against one about AIDS and didn't stand a chance.

-Best Foreign Film
Actually means: most depressing foreign film

-Best Directing
Actually means: whoever directed Best Picture

-Best Original Screenplay
Actually means: quirky movie that should have been nominated for Best Picture but was not a drop-dead serious drama about war or other actual events

Some categories are legitimate wildcards though. "It's Hard Out Here For a Pimp" winning best song? Who could have seen that coming?

December 1, 2007

The decline of the strong female character - and 10 ladies who defy the trend



In regards to actors and actresses, I typically subscribe to the school of "they just don't make 'em like that anymore." In other words, I can't really think of too many actors/actresses who can even hold a candle to those of yesteryear. This dichotomy becomes particularly striking when it comes to women. There is no modern-day equivalent to a Joan Crawford, a Barbara Stanwyck, a Bette Davis, a Katharine Hepburn, etc. People would line up to see any movie they headlined, because they delivered the goods. People today aren't gonna line up for a Hilary Swank movie, they're gonna crowd the theaters of a Jessica Biel or Scarlett Johansson movie because they're hot. Yeah, I know old-timey actresses were hot too, but the attraction was more all-encompassing - Myrna Loy was called "The Perfect Wife," not "The Perfect Piece of Ass." Obviously, women have always been relegated to an inferior position in society, but cinema was one of the places where they could be equal, or even superior. One day, I was in a feminist sort of mood, and started compiling a mental list of strong female characters. "Strong" doesn't have to mean the character herself has a strong personality, but rather that she is well-written, multifaceted, sympathetic, and compelling. I could think of tons - Joan Crawford as Mildred Pierce in Mildred Pierce, Mae West in anything, Katharine Hepburn as Tracy Lord in The Philadelphia Story, Anne Bancroft as Mrs. Robinson in The Graduate, Lauren Bacall as "Slim" in To Have or Have Not, the entire cast of The Women...basically I could have gone on for days. But then I realized something...none of these are even remotely recent. So I shifted my focus to recent films of the last 10 years or so. I could still think of tons - Audrey Tatou as Amelie in Amelie or as Mathilde in A Very Long Engagement, Franka Potente as Lola in Run Lola Run, Eihi Shiina as Asami in Audition, any female character in a Pedro Almodovar movie, any female character in a Wong Kar Wai movie, and on and on. But wait - these are all foreign films! Exasperated and disheartened, I tried to think of strong female characters in American movies from the last 10 years. And it was really, really hard.

Females on the silver screen are becoming an endangered species. Warner Brothers recently issued a statement that based on the poor performance of recent female-led films (namely, The Invasion and The Brave One), they will stop making movies with women in the lead. (Read more about it here.) Wait, WHAT?! So maybe the aforementioned films weren't that good...must all women be punished for that? Women's rights attorney Gloria Allred wisely notes in the article, "when movies with men as the lead fail, no one says we'll stop making movies with men in the lead." Lead roles aren't the only place where a female presence is diminishing - according to 2004 figures from the Screen Actors Guild, men outnumber women onscreen in a ratio of 65 to 35 percent. I'm sorry, can I just take a break from my eloquent and composed blogger demeanor to say WHAT THE FUCK.

Before I completely depress you (and myself) beyond all reason, let us turn to the few and the proud - strong female characters in American films of the past 10(ish) years. This list is not definitive, and I welcome your suggestions - obviously, I haven't seen every film made in the past decade, but I really couldn't think of many to begin with. My requirements are as follows:

- The character can be any type of person, but "strong" implies, as I said earlier, well-written, multifaceted, sympathetic, and compelling. It's not just a synonym for "kickass," and this list isn't just going to be a list of action heroines.
- Must be from an American film
- The character cannot be based on/ be a portrayal of a real person, because those characters are "pre-written" by history, so to speak. So Marie Antoinette or Aileen Wuornos wouldn't count.
- The characters cannot be creations of another time - i.e. based on novels written 100 years ago or featured in a film that's a remake

- The character cannot be animated, because I'm not giving this distinction out to fish and toys and shit.

Onto the list - as always, in no particular order.

1. Uma Thurman as The Bride in Kill Bill: Vol 1 & 2.
The Bride is most definitely kickass. Among other feats, she fights a mob of several dozen ninjas, plucks out another chick's eye, has special samurai training with a crazy old dude and punches her way out of a sealed and buried coffin. But Quentin Tarantino (who develops some very interesting female characters) doesn't just leave her as a two-dimensional action figure - he gives her pathos and weight. The first film opens with a black and white image of The Bride bloodied, breathless, and pregnant, pleading for her life, and then her fiancee shoots her and leaves her for dead. She is driven by a quest for vengeance, but also, in the second volume, the quest to reunite with her daughter. Thus, the masculine notion of revenge and her maternal urges are combined to form a multi-dimensional character.


2. Kate Winslet as Sarah Pierce in Little Children
Things are not going well for Sarah Pierce. She hasn't quite figured out her role as a mother yet, and she just discovered that her husband is addicted to internet porn and chats with scandalous strangers. The only highlight of her life is her hunky neighbor Brad, with whom she starts an affair. The thing I appreciated about this movie was that winning Brad over does not come easy for Sarah. She desperately purchases a sexy swimsuit from a catalog, kisses him randomly on the playground to shock some neighborhood mothers, and still in a voiceover Brad says that her eyebrows are "bushier than necessary." She's desperate and sympathetic, nuanced and realistic. I think she could have totally won the Best Actress Oscar this past year if it wasn't for the awards season wrecking ball named Helen Mirren.


3. Rachel Weisz as Evelyn Anne Thompson in The Shape of Things
All four characters in this film are great - due in no small part to the fact that it is a direct adaptation of a play, with the same actors and director (Neil LaBute). Evelyn is an art student with funky hairstyles and a penchant for spraypainting ancient statues. In my opinion, she goes from annoying to intriguing to sociopathic. It's really hard to explain too much about this character without giving the movie away, but let's just say that she achieves drastic and morally questionable measures through meticulous emotional manipulation. Fun night at the movies!


4. Frances McDormand as Marge Gunderson in Fargo
McDormand received a well-deserved Academy Award for this role. Under her adorably Midwestern exterior, she's a no-nonsense policewoman. She gets the job done without being rude and abrasive, but without backing down. After reining in all the bad guys, she cuddles into bed with her husband, who rubs her pregnant belly. They are completely unglamorous, but ridiculously cute. Plus, she wears the pants in the relationship (her stay-at-home husband makes her breakfast).


5. Natalie Portman as Sam in Garden State
I have a permanent beef with Natalie Portman for being so girl-next-door-sy gorgeous, but I'll let it slide momentarily. What struck me about this character was, for lack of a better word, how real she was. After I saw the movie for the first time with some friends, they all turned to me and said, "Julie, the character in that movie was YOU." And for them to compare a character to someone they know well, the character has to be pretty well-formed. I would be kind of offended if they compared me to, say, a Bond girl. Sam is unafraid to be random, make funny noises, and laugh at life. After a really intense and emotional conversation with Andrew (Zach Braff), she blurts out, "I can tap dance. Wanna see me tap dance?" That line made me smile so much, because that's how people's brains really work (er, mine anyway). She's also an epileptic, a habitual liar, an animal lover and a former figure skater. What's not to love?


6. Judi Dench as Barbara Covett and Cate Blanchett as Sheba Hart in Notes on a Scandal
This movie kicks ass. It proves that you don't need anything fancy to make a good movie, just two awesome actors going all out. The plot of the film is simple: Sheba is a new art teacher at the school where Barbara teaches, and starts having (consentual) physical relations with a young male student. She confides in the reclusive Barbara, who has warmed up to this intriguing newcomer. Barbara then uses this secret to manipulate her. Yeah, the plot by itself sounds kind of eh, but that's why the performances are so important in making this movie great. Judi Dench is ridiculously creepy, pathetic, and a quasi-lesbian, and Sheba is desperate, sympathetic but also morally questionable. It gets real ugly between these two lovely ladies. The strength of these characters is probably due in no small part to the fact that the film is an adaptation of a female-written novel.

7. Keri Russell as Jenna Hunterson in Waitress
Who knew that cute little gal from "Felicity" had such a great role in her? Waitress is a sweet story about a Southern waitress who discovers she's pregnant with her loser husband's baby, and starts an affair with her doctor. What could have been a Lifetime movie is most decidedly not - Jenna is sweet and vulnerable, but spunky and sassy. She channels her emotions into the original pies she makes, giving them such names as “Baby Screaming Its Head Off In the Middle of the Night and Ruining My Life Pie.” She is also surprisingly un-maternal for the majority of the film, which is pretty radical if you think about how much of cinematic female identity is centered on the motherhood role. She leads a double life - aggressive, passionate and loved by her doctor, and frustrated, bored and almost enslaved by her husband. The female supporting cast is great as well, probably due again to the fact that the film was written and directed by a woman, the late Adrienne Shelly.

9. Helena Bonham Carter as “Woman” in Conversations with Other Women
Hans Canosa’s sophomore effort is a split-screen tour de force, featuring Helena Bonham Carter and Aaron Eckhart going at each other both verbally and physically. It’s hard to describe the plot without giving too much away, but I basically saw this film as a kind of boxing match between the two perfectly matched opponents. They both have dirt on the other’s past, they both know how to make the other happy, sad, jealous, or lusty. In a way it reminded me of a edgier, modern Tracy and Hepburn dynamic. This movie is an actors’ piece, and Carter really shines, being alternately abrasive, nonchalant, and helpless.

10. Catherine Keener as Trish in The 40-Year-Old Virgin
Oh, Judd Apatow. I can’t say anything about you that hasn’t already been said in the trillions of articles praising your existence and calling you the next big thing. Like those articles, I will echo the sentiment that you have redefined the “date movie,” and found something that both men and women can enjoy: realistic depictions of themselves. Trish is a single mom who runs her own eBay store, gives out her number to shy Andy and tells a supposed telemarketer (actually Andy) to fuck his mother. She also fights with her daughters and feels undesired by Andy (due to the titular problem). In the character of Trish I can see a very real woman who resembles actual forty-something women I know.

This list is not all-inclusive, but I also had trouble thinking of more that really fit. If there’s a character here that you think was left out, chances are I considered it and decided it didn’t fit the criteria or just, well, didn’t move me enough.

At this rate, the future of female roles in film looks pretty depressing. Hopefully I can become a successful director some day and do my part to get women back in the roles they deserve!